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Q&As




RAPE AND ABUSE
1. What is rape?
2. What is acquaintance rape?
3. Does rape only happen to women?
4. Does rape only happen at a sexual assault situation which involves a stranger attacking a lone woman in a deserted area, such as a parking lot or alley?
5. What can you do if you are raped?
6. Is it your fault if you are raped?
7. What are your rights as a rape survivor?
8. How do I protect myself from rape?
9. What should I do if rape happens to someone I know?
10. What is the legal process that a rape victim should know?
11. What is abuse?
12. Does abuse happen only physically?
13. What is physical abuse?
14. What is sexual abuse?
15. What is emotional abuse?
16. What is neglect?
17. Does abuse happen only in poor family?
18. What are the effects of abuse?
19. What does an abuser usually tell to a person who is being abused?
20. What should someone who's being abused do?
21. Where can a person being abused get help?
22. What is bullying?
23. How is bullying done?
24. Why are some teenagers bullies?
25. What should you do if you';re being bullied?


1. What is rape?
Rape is a crime of violence using sex as a weapon. The law defines rape as the penetration of the penis into the vagina of a woman without the woman’s consent. Sex with or without the consent of a girl below the age of 16 is considered statutory rape.

If one is sexually assaulted in other ways, such as forced anal sex, insertion of objects into the vagina, mouth or anus, the assailant can also be charged under other sections of the law – for instance, sodomy, molest, outrage of modesty, carnal intercourse or attempted rape.
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2. What is acquaintance rape?
When forced sex occurs between two people who already know each other.
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3. Does rape only happen to women?
No. Even though the overwhelming majority of sexual assaults are committed by men against women, men have also been victims. Men are very unlikely to report their situation, because they think it would threaten their masculine image to do so. Also, others are more likely to see men as willing participants than as victims.
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4. Does rape only happen at a sexual assault situation which involves a stranger attacking a lone woman in a deserted area, such as a parking lot or alley?
Rape can happen to anyone of any age, male or female at any place.
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5. What can you do if you are raped?
Do not wash or clean yourself even if you really feel like doing so. Get the support of a friend, family member, or a woman’s NGO like All Women’s Action Society (AWAM) at 03-78774221. If you decide to make a police report, evidence on your body (seminal fluid, bruises, blood, hair) is important at the event of your rape trial. Go to a government hospital immediately. A police report can be made there.
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6. Is it your fault if you are raped?
Rape is not your fault. Do not blame yourself. Women wearing sexy clothes or behaving seductively do not provoke rape. Rape is a violation against your will and your body. No woman asks to be raped.
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7. What are your rights as a rape survivor?
Report
You can make a complaint at any police station, welfare department or government hospital. You have a right to a woman police inspector who will take your statement after you have made a police report. Once you have made the report at a police station, you will be taken to the hospital for a medical examination in an unmarked car.

Admission
You will be admitted to the Accident & Emergency Department of the hospital of the hospital and possibility the One-Stop Crisis Centre if it is a major hospital. A general examination will be conducted to determine what kind of injuries you have sustained, and the appropriate treatment you will need.

Medical Examination
This examination is to check for penetration in order to prove rape. The examination will only be performed with your informed consent, that is, after you have been given all the necessary information. In the case of a minor (less than 18 years), a parent's consent is necessary. A pregnancy test and a blood test will be done to determine your status relating to pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted disease. You have a right to obtain information on any examinations done to you. These test may be repeated at a later date.

Emotional support/ Psychological treatment
After the medical examination, you will be referred to the medical social worker or a counsellor who can counsel you. If necessary, you may be referred for professional psychiatric services for additional psychological support and treatment.

Follow up
This includes referral to the welfare department or to an NGO shelter if you are unable to return home because it is unsafe for you. You will also need to return to the hospital for medical follow-ups - to obtain results to the blood test, and to check for any complications as a result of the rape including repeat test if necessary.
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8. How do I protect myself from rape?
  • Look assertive, confident, and aware of your surroundings.
  • Trust your intuition. If a particular situation makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, choose an alternative. Ask for help.
  • Know vulnerable targets of the assailant: eyes, nose, throat, stomach, and kneecaps.
  • Watch your drink at social gatherings. Rapists can drop drugs in your drink like Ruffies or GHB. These drugs incapacitate you and you can’t fight back.
  • More than half of all female sexual assault victims and nearly 75 percent of their male attackers are usually under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time of the incident.
  • If a police officer shows up at your door, ask for identification; then call the station to verify the officer’s identity before opening the door.
  • Don’t get on elevators with just one other or only guys.
  • Stay close to the elevator buttons and push them all if necessary.
  • If waiting for a bus, etc, don’t wait alone; wait in a store, or with a friend.
  • Don’t go door-to-door selling something alone.
  • Don’t go on less travelled roads, driving or walking.
  • If someone on public transportation does something, tell him/her in a loud voice to stop it loud enough for the other passengers to hear.
  • Don’t hitchhike alone.
  • If someone is following you, speed up, scream and run, or stop to face them if it is a crowded walkway.
  • Walk on the curbside away from alleyways, or buildings.
  • Vary walking routes.
  • Have a lock on all trap doors and openings to attics and crawl spaces.
  • If you find yourself on an elevator with one other person who gives you the creeps, follow your intuition and get off. If he attacks you, push the buttons for every floor to increase your odds of being seen. Pushing the alarm often just stops the elevator.
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9. What should I do if rape happens to someone I know?
  • Believe him/her.
  • Offer comfort and support. Go with her to the hospital, police station, or counselling centre.
  • Let her know she’s not to blame
  • When trying to support a survivor of a sexual assault, try not to be judgmental or take control.
  • The most important thing for you to remember is to communicate these four points:
    • “I am glad you’re alive.”
    • “It’s not your fault.”
    • “I’m sorry it happened.”
    • “You did the best you could.”

The most important thing you have to do go is bring him/her to a hospital and police report can be made there.

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10. What is the legal process that a rape victim should know?
After a police report is made an you have gone through the medical system, police will investigate the case and arrest the suspect.

You may be asked to identity the suspect in an identification parade made up of about ten men, of which one (or more) is your assailant. You have to identify him by tapping his shoulder. However in some places, you may identify the assailant through a one-way mirror.

The Deputy Public Prosecutor (DPP) decides whether your case gets to be heard in court or not. You cannot employ a lawyer to fight your case because this is a criminal offence against the state. You have to wait until you are called to court as a witness. This may take weeks or even months.

The DPP, on behalf of the state, is responsible for prosecuting the case. But you may engage your own lawyer for additional support before and during the trial (by holding a watching brief). Many NGOs offer assistance on this matter.

When you are relating to the details of the rape in court, the court may request the public the leave the courtroom. This is called hearing in camera and is done as a matter of practice to respect your privacy as a survivor.

You can also be assured that the press is not allowed to publish your name or address in the newspapers.

Going to court may be an intimidating experience. You may need a friend or someone from a women’s organisation to go with you. You may be asked many uncomfortable questions (especially during cross-examination) by the accused’s defence lawyer. The trial may also stretch to many months and even years.
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11. What is abuse?

Abuse is defined as to use improperly or incorrectly, misuse.

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12. Does abuse happen only physically?
Abuse can take many forms. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal or a combination of any of any or all of those. It can also be neglect.
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13. What is physical abuse?
Physical abuse is more obvious. It may be a kind of hitting, shaking, whipping, paddling, beating, burning, pinching, biting, choking, throwing and other actions that cause physical injury, leave marks, or produce significant physical pain. Using belts, whips, or other objects as a form of discipline is also physical abuse.
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14. What is sexual abuse?
Sexual abuse is any type of sexual contact between an adult and child. It can also be sexual contact between a significantly older child and a younger child.
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15. What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse can be difficult to pin down because there are no physical signs to look for. Sure, people yell at each other, express anger, and call each other names sometimes. Expressing anger can be healthy sometimes. But just like physical abuse can cause physical damage, emotional abuse can cause emotional damage or scars. It’s hard to define, but emotional abuse might include a parent constantly belittling or threatening a child.
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16. What is neglect?
Neglect is hard to define too. Some teens, for instance, may think it’s neglect if their mom or dad doesn’t give them something like a new computer when they want one, but that’s not it. Neglect happens when a child doesn’t have adequate food, housing, clothes, medical care, or supervision. Emotional neglect happens when a parent doesn’t provide enough emotional support and might include deliberately and consistently paying a little or no attention to a child.
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17. Does abuse happen only in poor family?
No. Abuse happens in wealthy families with fancy homes – or in poor families. Whether it’s a single or two parent family, and no matter the colour of the family or their religion, they can be abused. Even if the family is well known and respected in the community, there can be abuse.
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18. What are the effects of abuse?
There is no single physical or emotional effect of abuse, but it can affect every aspect of someone’s life, especially self-esteem. There are ways that abuse can commonly affect teens. Abused teens can have trouble sleeping, eating, and concentrating. They may perform poorly at school because they are angry or frightened, or because they don’t care or can’t concentrate. Many abused teens feel distrustful of others. They may feel a lot of anger toward others and themselves. They may have emotional problems such as depression. They may engage in self-destructive behaviour such as cutting or abusing drugs or alcohol. They may even attempt suicide.
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19. What does an abuser usually tell to a person who is being abused?
An abuser might say something like : “This is a secret between you and me,” or “If you ever tell anybody, I’ll hurt you or your mom,” or “You’re going to get trouble if you tell. No one will believe you and you’ll go to jail for lying.” That’s the abuser’s way of making a person who is being abused feel like nothing can be done so that they won’t take any action.
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20. What should someone who's being abused do?
People who are being abused need to get help. That usually means telling someone they trust, like an adult family member or friend, what’ going on. Or may be a trusted teacher, or an adult who works with youth at school.
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21. Where can a person being abused get help?
They can get help at any nearby police station or welfare department and NGOs, protect and save the Children Association of Selangor and Kuala Lumpur at 03-77844344 or FFPAM at 03-56337514.
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22. What is bullying?
Bullying is a person who uses his/her strength or power to frighten or hurt a weaker people.
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23. How is bullying done?
Bullying can be done in countless ways: teasing, taunting, ethnic slurs, and sexual harassment are all forms of bullying. What they share is the power to upset or hurt the people who are being targeted.
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24. Why are some teenagers bullies?
Teenagers who bully generally focus on themselves and find ways to seek pleasure. They are often insecure and therefore they may put other people down to make themselves feel more interesting or powerful. For them, it may be particularly difficult to see things from someone else’s point of view. And some bullies act the way they do because they've been hurt by bullies in the past or because another person in their lives - like a parent or other family member - is abusing them in some way.
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25. What should you do if you're being bullied?
If you’re being bullied and you’re ready to stand up for yourself, there are some techniques you can try:
  • Walk away and ignore the bully. It may seem like a coward’s response, but it’s not. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get and if you walk away, the message is that you just don’t care. Sooner or later the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you.
  • Be confident; walk tall and hold your head high. Use your body language to show that you’re not vulnerable.
  • Try humour. If you can learn to laugh at yourself then you won’t give the bully the response he or she is looking for.
  • However you choose to deal with a bully, don’t use physical force (like kicking, hitting, or pushing). You can never be sure what the bully will do and violence never solves a problem, anyway.
  • Talk about it. It may help to talk to a guidance counsellor, teacher or friend – anyone who can give you the support you need. Talking can be good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when you’re being bullied.
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Acknowledgement:
· http://www3.azwestern.edu/psy/dgershaw/lil/rapeknow.html
· http://www.teenshealth.org
· Information for the survivor – All Women’s Action Society (AWAM)
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